Love Is Kind

Post date: Oct 28, 2016 6:44:07 PM

Over the past week, I’ve seen a picture floating around Facebook with the words, “If you can’t be kind, be quiet.” Now, based on modern rhetoric, this is often the point where we either feel the need to unequivocally give an “amen” to a statement like this or we want to point out all of the areas where the blanket statement doesn’t or shouldn’t work. I’m going to ask you to hold onto this urge and just accept it for the moment.

What struck me was that as I saw this pop up on multiple people’s pages, I often saw the response in comments that said, “My mother always told me that if you can’t say anything nice, you shouldn’t say anything at all.” Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? I think that many of us heard a version of that statement growing up. I honestly never questioned it until I had to put the two statements into stark contrast with each other. Take a look:

If you can’t be kind, be quiet.

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

Do you see it? How does “kind” make you feel? How does “nice” make you feel? Do you feel the difference? I decided to dig into this feeling a little further and explore the definitions of these words. Here’s what I found:

Nice: pleasing, agreeable, socially acceptable, respectable

Kind: affectionate, loving, gentle, sympathetic, helpful, giving pleasure or relief

I was struck by the way that “nice” is so surface level. You can give a nice response to someone or make a nice statement, but it doesn’t really tell you what’s happening in your heart. On the other hand, a kind response? To be kind requires depth of feeling.

“If you want to be holy, be kind”

Frederick Buechner

I guess the key here is that it’s kind of easy to be nice. All it takes is a small modicum of self-control when we interact with each other. However, it’s another thing altogether to be kind. It means I really have to examine my intentions. I have to remember that the person I’m interacting with is someone made in the image of God. I have to remember that God has been infinitely kind to me, especially when I don’t deserve it.

“But when God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us,

not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.”

Titus 3:4-5a

So, exhibiting Christ in me means that I have to be kind to others, not because of the great way that they have treated me or because they’ve made all the right decisions or have done all the right things. If my God can be kind in light of all I have done to Him, surely I can be kind to those He brings in my path.

This month, I want to encourage you to intentionally consider how you can be kind to others, maybe stretching outside of your normal comfort zone. If it helps you, one idea is to make a Kindness Calendar. There are lots of examples online, but I’d encourage you to only use one of those for inspiration rather than just adopt it wholesale. Instead, use those 28 blank spaces for February to inspire you with really specific kindness acts for the people around you. Can you imagine what it would look like if we all spent 28 days intentionally showing God’s love to one another? Sounds pretty...kind!