All Your Heart
By Beth Matheson, Writer, Wycliffe Women of the Word
Post date: Nov. 18, 2019
Just a few months into our overseas assignment, I experienced an event that triggered severe insomnia and anxiety. It was impossible to hide my unraveling, especially when I had to scale back my involvement in nearly everything outside of our home.
I was angry at God, at the situation and at myself for falling to pieces. A mental health crisis wasn’t what I had signed up for.
But God knew it was exactly what I needed.
It was hard to lay down all the roles and activities that I felt defined me. As I struggled to let go, I realized that my own image and abilities had taken up residence on a throne in my heart. My reputation had become a serious idol.
The thing about a crisis is that it tends to stir up sediment in our hearts, bringing all kinds of muck we’ve ignored to the surface. Sometimes we step into ministry expecting to make a difference only to find that it’s us who need to be transformed.
As sin and unhealth surface, we have two choices: We can acknowledge them and do what it takes to seek freedom and healing, or we can quietly stuff them down and pretend we’re fine. Acknowledging broken places in ourselves and seeking freedom is costly, but refusing to do so is deadly. Undisturbed idols and unhealed wounds bring decay to our hearts, destroying our lives, relationships and ministries.
God longs to transform us through the power of his Holy Spirit, dethrone our idols and drag them into the light where they lose their potency. Perhaps he calls us into missions partly for this very reason — to expose our idols and teach us to love him with a whole, uncrowded and unshackled heart.
In this place of surrender, where repentance leads us into expansive freedom and overflowing life, we can really live the truth of Mark 12:30 (NLT): “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.”
Questions for Reflection:
Recall a time that God gave you something you “hadn’t signed up for” but turned out to be what you needed. How did you initially respond to the situation?
How do you tend to respond when God brings an area of personal brokenness to your attention? How have you responded in a way that leads toward decay? Toward freedom?
Identify an idol that’s occupied a throne in your heart. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you dethrone the idol and show you how to surrender that part of your heart.
Don’t forget to dive deeper into what it looks like to love God with all your heart in our devotional!
Para leer el devocional en español oprima aquí.