"Bless Your Heart"

By Beth Matheson, Wycliffe Women of the Word Writer

Post date: Nov. 16, 2020

I live in South Carolina, the land of sweet tea and sweet talk. Many women here call everyone “honey” and “sugar,” and most of the time they’re being genuinely nice. But few Southerners would mistake one kind-sounding phrase for a compliment: “Bless your heart.”

Although the words “bless your heart” aren’t hurtful on their own — in fact, they’re usually spoken in a syrupy tone and accompanied by a broad smile — the phrase can mean anything from “I feel sorry for you” to “You’re a complete fool.” The attitude behind the words matters.

Paul encouraged the believers in Ephesus to watch their speech: “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them” (Ephesians 4:29, NLT). Even words that sound sweet on the surface can be foul and harmful at their core, causing wounds and division in those who hear them.

So how can we make sure our words remain good, helpful and encouraging? Before we communicate, we need to check our pride: “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3, NLT). If we think of ourselves as better than others, our superior and dismissive attitudes will come across in what we say, regardless of the words we use. But if we’re humble, our words will uplift those around us — and we will truly bless their hearts.

Questions for Reflection

• When have you communicated something that sounded nice on the surface but was rooted in an attitude of pride? What was the result?

• When has your heart been blessed by someone who spoke to you with humility?

• How can you encourage someone by speaking with humility today?

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